LWOT : The World s Greatest Fiction Magazine
Matthew Loney

 

J. A. Tyler has recent work in Sleeping Fish, Storyglossia, elimae, No Colony, Night Train and Prick of the Spindle. His chapbook The Girl in the Black Sweater is available now from Trainwreck Press, his fiction will be a part of Samsara the first multi-author release from Paperhero Press and his debut novella Someone, Somewhere is forthcoming from Ghost Road Press. He is also founding editor of Mud Luscious, a reviewer for Rural Messengers Press, a member of the Pindeldyboz editorial team and an editorial intern for Dzanc Books. Read more at www.aboutjatyler.com or www.aboutjatyler.blogspot.com.

  

 

 

The1 LWOT2 Legacy 3
J.4 A.5 Tyler6

In great times7 there were sad8 and disdainful men9. My10 great great great great11 grandfather12 stood13 among them14. He wore a dandelion15 in his coat16 but was pitiful17 nonetheless18. People19 spoke20 in whispers21 and22 the cities23 were unbearable24. Until25 LWOT26. He27 held28 the first issue29 in his30 hands31 and it32 seeped. It33 ran into him like earthworms34. Lilacs35 bloomed36 where he37 walked38. He39 spoke the words40 and spiders41 took to hiding. His42 eyes roamed43 the images44 and the world became a heart45. Without46 LWOT47 he48 was a sour49 yellow50. Without51 LWOT52 his53 lips were cracked54 and pursed55. Without56 LWOT57 he58 would have died59. He60 did die61 eventually62, but63 it64 was more like flourishing65. All66 because of LWOT67.68

***

1.'the' is used more times in the bible than 'god' and 'jesus' combined
2. 'LWOT' is the world's greatest magazine and has to date one hundred years of servitude
3.'legacy' means 'as told to alex haley'
4. the 'j' stands for 'his debut novella is entitled someone somewhere'
5. the 'a' stands for 'it will be released in the summer of 2009 from ghost road press'
6. 'tyler' is the last name of a writer who lives electronically at www.aboutjatyler.com
7. 'great times' have only happened twice in u.s. history and six times for canadians
8. 'sad' is universal
9. 'disdainful men' usually kill themselves but sometimes grow out of it
10. 'I' am not sure that 'this' is actually even about 'me'
11. the number of 'greats' used here is inconsequential
12. 'grandfather' is important because it shows a relationship
13. 'stood' also implies 'sat' and 'walked' and 'ran'
14. 'them' is a way to say 'everyone else but him'
15. a 'dandelion' is a flower grown from a rampant weed
16. his 'coat' was in the style of the day
17. 'pitiful' is worse than sad
18. 'nonetheless' is a combination of the words 'none' 'the' and 'less'
19. 'people' here means 'business men' and 'mothers'
20. they 'spoke' things like 'hello' and 'goodbye'
21. 'whispers' sound like the ocean if done correctly
22. 'and' is a very popular conjunction
23. 'cities' here is like implicating the 'world' as a 'whole'
24. 'unbearable' is a combination of the words 'un' 'bear' and 'able'
25. 'until' means 'wait for it'
26. 'LWOT' is a distinguished literary rag
27. 'he' means 'my' 'great great great great' 'grandfather'
28. 'held' here means 'cradled' and 'fawned over'
29. the 'first issue' is a rarity among collectors and is priced at seven point five million dollars
30. 'his' means 'my' 'great great great great' 'grandfather'
31. 'hands' are like 'tools'
32. 'it' references the 'glorious and astounding works of the first issue of LWOT'
33. 'it' here references the 'prestige and wonder of every subsequent issue of LWOT'
34. 'earthworms' can regenerate themselves but only from the head end
35. 'lilacs' are flowering bushes
36. read 'bloomed' as 'beautified'
37. 'he' means 'my' 'great great great great' 'grandfather'
38. 'walked' here refers here to the act of 'walking'
39. 'he' means 'my' 'great great great great' 'grandfather'
40. 'the words' refers to the 'life changing work included in LWOT'
41. 'spiders' are 'arachnids'
41. 'his' means 'my' 'great great great great' 'grandfather'
43. 'roamed' is like bulls running down alleyways
44. 'the images' referred to here are the stunning visual inclusions in the first LWOT diamond
45. 'a heart' can be 'an organ pumping blood' or 'the way we symbolize love' being 'without' would be similar to 'death' or 'dying'
46. 'LWOT' is required elementary school reading in both China and France
47. 'he' means 'my' 'great great great great' 'grandfather'
48. 'sour' is like 'sad' and 'grimacing' put together
49. 'yellow' is a color
50. 'without' is also similar to 'torture' or 'mutilation'
51. 'LWOT' means 'read or die'
52. 'his' means 'my' 'great great great great' 'grandfather'
53. many streets in the world are 'cracked' in this same way
54. 'pursed' can be the verb form of 'putting something away' as in 'she pursed her checkbook' being 'without' makes us more prone to 'deformity' or 'disgust'
55. 'LWOT' sells one million copies world wide per year
56. 'he' means 'my' 'great great great great' 'grandfather'
57. 'died' means 'to expire or cease'
58. 'he' means 'my' 'great great great great' 'grandfather'
59. 'die' means to 'suffocate under the weight of a world without LWOT'
60. 'eventually' is another way of saying 'in time'
61. when accompanied by another 't' 'but' means 'ass'
62. 'it' here means the 'death' of 'my' 'great great great great' 'grandfather'
63. 'flourishing' is like being 'beautiful' or 'indefinable' or 'distinct'
64. 'all' is one vowel followed by two consonants
65. 'LWOT' will survive for at least ten more hundred year anniversaries
66. '.' means that the story is over '.'

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