LWOT : The World s Greatest Fiction Magazine
LWOT presents: The Most Mediocre Canadian

 

Mediocrity! Canadian culture is defined by it. Whether it's our third-rate film industry or our deferential role in world politics, we’re a nation in love with second-place finishers. Who better to embody these distinctive ideals than someone who has risen to prominence by obeying all the rules, by being a round peg in a round hole, by leaving the envelope right where it is, thank you very much!

Thousands visited. Hundreds voted. We employed advanced computational technologists to tally the results. As the debate raged on, LWOT provided updates on the voting through the official Mediocre Canadian blog. Now, in celebration of the historic magazine's 100th anniversary, the most mediocre Canadian has been revealed and a divided nation can begin to heal.		  

 

 

The most mediocre Canadian is:
Stephane Dion

Before his defeat in the federal election, Stephane Dion was the frontrunner in a different kind of vote. But what was it that made Canadian's think he was so mediocre? As some of the voters put it:

"He's weak, last week."

"Knows how to sit down well."

"More flippers than a seal."

"Sociologist. Liberal. Hopeless. Media loves him. Although the list of mediocre Canadians reads like a who's who of CDN public life, Dion is their leader."

"Actually he's below mediocrity. He's striving for medicority."

 Fear of a Harper-like lawsuit prevents us from printing most of the reasons given for choosing Dion, but it doesn't keep us from throwing the rest of the list out across the Interweb. Behold, Canada's choices as the most mediocre Canadians in order of vote getting.

***

2. Warren Kinsella
3. Justin Trudeau
4. David Suzuki
5. Jean Chretien
6. Joe Clark
7. Stephen Harper
8. Pierre Elliot Trudeau
9. Jack Layton
10. George Stroumboulopoulos
11. Rick Mercer
12. CBC
13. Jordon Cooper
14. Peter Mansbridge
15. David Miller
16. John Ralston Saul
17. Paul Martin
18. Ben Mulroney
19. Ed stelmach
20. Gord Downie/The Tragically Hip
21. Kevin Newman
22. LWOT Magazine
23. Marni Soupcoff
24. The Average Canadian Taxpayer
25. Bob Rae
26. Brent Butt
27. Bryan Adams
28. Buzz Hargrove
29. Celine Dion
30. Chad Kroeger/Nickleback
31. Dalton McGuinty
32. David Frum
33. Jason Cherniak - liberal blogger
34. Luba Goy
35. Margaret Atwood
36. Maude Barlow
37. Michael Ignatieff
38. Michaelle Jean
39. Paul Shaffer
40. Ralph Benmergui
41. Brent Gretzky
42. Ralph Goodale
43. 1976 Canadian Olympic Team: all 391 athletes
44. Rick "The Temp" Campanelli
45. Adrienne Clarkson
46. Alan Thicke
47. Alexa McDonaugh
48. Valerie Pringle
49. Avi Lewis
50. Dave Thomas
51. Gordon Campbell
52. Bernie Farber
53. Svend Robinson
54. Bob Skelly
55. The Toronto Maple Leafs
56. Bonnie Stern
57. Craig Kielburger
58. Craig Oliver
59. Dan Otoole
60. Rob McLennan
61. Darcy Tucker
62. Dr. Henry Morgentaler
63. Eric Lindros
64. Gino Vanelli
65. Diane Holmes
66. Gord Martineau
67. J.D.Roberts
68. Jeanne Beker
69. Amanda Marshall
70. Jian Ghomeshi
71. John Tory
72. David Foster
73. Jonathan Kay
74. Mike Bullard
75. Justice Beverly McLaughlan
76. Kathy Shaidle
77. Leslie Roberts
78. Sheila McCarthy
79. Lloyd Axworthy
80. Group of Seven
81. Lloyd Robertson
82. Mark Kingwell
83. Pat Martin
84. Martin Rayner
85. Bob Cole
86. Mel Hurtig
87. Raymond Chan, MP
88. Mike MacDonald
89. Neil Young
90. Order of Canada
91. Pamela Anderson
92. Jim Travers
93. Peter C. Newman
94. Rene Simard
95. Stephen LeDrew
96. Richard Florida
97. Robert Stanfield
98. Ronnie Hawkins
99. Peter MacKay
100. Roy Forbes
101. Royal Canadian Air Farce
102. Shaun Majumder
103. MPs
104. Shelagh Rogers
105. Richard Warman
106. Stompin Tom Connors
107. This Hour Has 22 Minutes
108. Stuart McLean
109. The Canadian Olympic Team
110. Paul Gross
111. The heads of all provincial education ministries
112. Canadian Women's Hockey Team
113. The Canadian justice system
114. Perdita Felicien
115. Tie Domi
116. Anne Murray
117. Toronto Media
118. Lester B. Pearson
119. Burton Cummings
120.The Toronto Star
121. Ujjal Dosanjh
122. Any Trudeau kids
123. Unions
124. Gordon Pinsent
125. Canadian flag
126. Tommy Douglas
127.William Lyon Mackenzie King

  

LWOT presents the most mediocre Canadian

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